Category Archives: Just for Fun

This category includes posts which are meant, as the title says, just for fun. They don’t necessarily have a place among the more reverent preaching or apologetics categories, but are still worthwhile for a potential smile they may bring.

I Hope they Call Me on a Mission…

My favorite robot testicle blog (calm down, it’s a metaphor) posted an interesting Q&A with Craig Harline, the author of the book Way Below the Angels: The Pretty Clearly Troubled but Not Even Close to Tragic Confessions of a Real Live Mormon Missionary.

(What a title! I haven’t read the book, though I am curious to after reading the Q&A.)

Having as many countries in the world as we have, and having missionaries who served in as many different decades as we have, I don’t doubt that mission experiences are as varied as the number of people who served LDS missions. Add in variables for different mission presidents and companions and backgrounds and expectations and emotional intelligence and…

That’s a lot of variety.

I feel like it would be tremendous fun to get some type of panel together, made up of Latter-day Saint men and women who served missions in different countries and at different times and under different circumstances, just to hear different answers to the same questions. Maybe that’s a fun project for later.

For now, I decided to answer these questions from my own mission experience. Continue reading I Hope they Call Me on a Mission…

Today’s Mormon Molehill/Mountain

Folks like to give the LDS Church grief. Arguably, much of it isn’t deserved, but I think this is especially ludicrous.

Fancy Luda thinks your accusations of impropriety need to “get out the way.”

Headline from the Salt Lake Tribune – “Mormon discount? When it comes to car rentals, faith matters.

You gotta love the Trib. Continue reading Today’s Mormon Molehill/Mountain

The Hawaii Honolulu Mission Motto

I’m still spending time in my wife’s class, and today happened to be Hawaiian Day! Before we left for school, I pulled out a box with some things from Hawaii, and it brought me back to the wonderful two years I spent there as a missionary.

In the Hawaii Honolulu Mission, we have an incredible motto. It goes like this:

We are grateful to be in the Hawaii Honolulu Mission – the Aloha Mission. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is our message; love of God and others is our motivation; and obedience to the commandments and mission rules is our strength. By sharing the gospel with others, we can give them the “ha”, the breath of life, even eternal life. Aloha!

You might not have noticed, but this motto is an acronym of sorts for the word “Aloha”.

  • Atonement of Jesus Christ
  • Love of God and others
  • Obedience to the commandments and mission rules
  • HA, the breath of life, eternal life

If you’d like to learn more about this motto, read this devotional talk by President and Sister Peterson, who served as the mission leaders soon after I left.

(The only thing I find is missing from this motto is mention of the Restoration. If I could be so bold as to suggest a change, the last full sentence would begin, “By sharing the restored gospel with others…” I know, I know, when am I ever not so bold?)

Another quasi-motto centered around the Kukui nut. We were taught,

“The Kukui nut was prized by the Hawaiians because the kernel is rich in oil. Each kernel burned for three minutes. It reminds us of the light of the Savior which fills our souls, not for three minutes, but for eternity.”

I’m so grateful to have served in Hawaii. There is not a day that goes by where I am not influenced by my experience there.

Broadening My Horizons

Posts may slow down a little in a week or two. I usually them scheduled a few days in advance, just in case I get busy with something, but recent personal events may make me busier than usual!

Check out my personal blog to see:

Mission Songs – On Temple Square

This song was written by a missionary companion of mine, Elder Schow, while he was in the Missionary Training Center (MTC).

Before they go into “the field,” missionaries spend a few weeks to a few months learning in the MTC. They are organized into what are called districts, and a district may include missionaries preparing to go to a number of different places. In Elder Schow’s district, for example, were missionaries going to both the Hawaii Honolulu Mission and the Salt Lake Temple Square Mission.

The Temple Square Mission sister missionaries were understandably discouraged to be stuck with missionaries going to a “cool” mission like Hawaii. As a way to cheer them up, Elder Schow helped compose and perform this, to Disney’s “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid.

At Temple Square

Look at our sisters
Aren’t they so sweet?
Side by side, standing
They are just neat

They are the Lord’s missionaries
Missionaries who have everything

They’ve got smiles and spirit aplenty
And the Gospel of Christ to share
Want referrals?
They’ve got twenty!

But who cares? No big deal. They want more!

I want to be down at Temple Square
I want to be where they’re testifying
Sharing the gospel with everyone that they meet

Their time is now
They have been called
To teach the handsome, skinny, and bald

Who needs Maui?
Wish I could be
At Temple Square 

Mission Songs – The Men in Black

Ministering with Power and Authority

While I was a missionary in Hawaii, I spent some time as a Zone Leader. With my companion, I watched over the other missionaries within our (can you guess?) zone. From time to time we were expected to train these missionaries, and we would often try and come up with fun ways to teach principles so that they would “stick.”

One training I gave in Waipahu has pertinence to this discussion of priesthood, and I thought I might include it here. While it was tailored for missionaries, it definitely has application to all priesthood holders. I’ll include the “rap” we made up at the end in case an ex-Hawaiian missionary stumbles upon this and it’s good for a laugh or two (with hyper links included to help with the inside jokes).

The Missionary MIB Rap

We are the best kept secret in the universe.

Our mission is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.

We are your best, last, and only line of  offense.

We work with power, we exist by authority.

And we dress in black.


The good guys dress in black, remember that
On a bike, car, bus, we make contact
The title held by me: MISSIONARY
Teaching with great power and authority

You know we won’t cruise, or the spirit’s gone
Conservative suits with the Wembley ties on
Walking urgent, with a purpose
Eating up all of the members’ surplus

And yo, we ain’t got no strings attached.
Our 
flaxen cords are cut so we don’t detract
See something cute, turn our back
Cause we’re keeping holy where the MIB’s are at


Now from the hottest of Waipahu‘s streets
On the horizon white shirts enter the sight tight
Faithful men, 10 on a scale of 10
And then like BOOM white shirts fill the room up

With the quickness talk with the Witnesses
Confounding, and astounding
Testimonies strong tear down doctrine wrong
Ain’t no 
anti-cheese, can I please

Learn what we teach, that’s the way we kick it
Know what I mean?
I see all my 
commitments getting wicked on ya
We’re you’re best, last, and only line of offense against the worst scum of the universe

So don’t fear us – hear us!
If you ever get near us you’ll see that we’re fearless
MIB’s leading up alls your pack
“What’s that stand for?” Men in Black.


Alright, check it, let me tell you this in closing
I know we might seem imposing
But trust me – if we ever come your direction
Believe me – it’s for your own 
election

We don’t be teaching what we need not teach
And we don’t be speaking what we need not speak
So come unto Christ, cut this 
apostate crap
Show love to the black suit, cause that’s the Men in Black